Me & My Quite Contrary Life

Connecting with other people requires deliberate effort and vulnerability, but is worth the sacrifice. Connecting with myself requires complete honesty and acceptance, as does connecting with my Creator. Connecting is often messy, disruptive and unpredictable, but the rewards are amazing. That is what I have discovered so far in this year’s theme of “connect”. I realized that connecting takes effort on my part. Big surprise, huh?! It means when talking to people I need to be fully present in the moment and listening to them, and not thinking about the last food I ate. (Sidepoint: if I have a REALLY good meal, I tend to think about it for awhile after. Is that weird?!).   Listening and really connecting means asking questions about the other person and finding out what is happening in their life. It means offering insight and possibly relating a personal story. It means being open about my life too. This is a struggle for me but I am working on it! I found out a few weeks ago ...

Winter marches on here and I am enjoying all the warm things during these cold days. My favorites include hot chocolate, a little space heater under my desk at work, and an electric blanket at home. The snow looks really beautiful when it is falling and you can stay home and be warm. It loses its appeal pretty quickly when you are forced to go out in it!   My year’s theme of connecting is always in the back of my mind. It takes on many forms, from connecting with friends and strangers, to connecting with my inner most self, and even connecting with any heat sources too. I stumbled across a website that encourages participants to write a letter and mail/hand deliver it each day in February. I was intrigued by this idea initially and thought seriously about participating. It would be a good way to connect with different people daily, and incorporates my love of written words. I ultimately decided against participating as I don’t want the pressure on myself to write each day, a...

Oh man. Yesterday I created an Epic List of Quests that I want to complete in my lifetime, thanks to the inspiration from Nerd Fitness and the founder’s new book. My list both inspires me and terrifies me. It includes all the things I have always said I wanted to do (but never do!) and all the things I have never verbalized that I wanted to do (but want to do). I am hoping it will keep me accountable and make my life more fun! One of the quests I have is to write a little every day. Enter this blog. Today is Thursday, which is also known as Grandma Lunch Day! We have a standing date each week to have lunch together, which she makes at her apartment and I eat. It works well for both of us. I really enjoy this time each week to connect with her and any other family members that come (cousins, uncles, friends, neighbors). I get caught up on all the latest family gossip during our meal and have a chance to discuss what is happening in my life to a very sympathetic ear. She is so s...

Today is two weeks since I started my "connect" journey for 2016. A friend asked me this morning how my word was going. I really appreciate that she genuinely cared, but it was difficult for me to give an update. Most of the work is done internally and is not easily quantifiable with numbers and hard facts. I know I am growing and learning all of the time, had have made positive steps in the right direction. For my benefit, here are a few lessons I have learned these last few weeks about connecting. I discovered there are two sides of me as I have dual roles in life. There is the personal side that involves my hobbies, passions and interests, and the wife side that has duties to the home and to my husband. Both are important, but I found I was spending the majority of my time in the wife role. The personal side of me received little time and it was of poor quality. I have been intentional about spending more time in the personal side then and doing those things that I enjoy...

It's time! After weeks of planning and preparations, the new year has come and time for my new theme of "connect" to be put into action. I am excited to see how this year goes, but nervous at the same time. Despite not feeling well for a portion of the day, I still managed to start on my theme! While my husband was busy enjoying a day with his friends, I spent the day working on my hobbies to connect with my passion. I did some writing, reading, worked on a puzzle, watched a movie, and took a bath. It was a good day! I also connected with online friends to get suggestions and resources for my theme, as well as offered my recommendations for those that were curious and didn't want to ask. This was also a scary step for me to take, but it was necessary and important. If I can only help one person, my vulnerability was worth it. I decided being vulnerable and opening up to share my truth would be a big part of connecting with others. Inspiration is so weird - you nev...

I have been thinking about hands today. Strange, yes. :) The year 2015 started with my hands symbolically closed and clenched tight around the things I hold dear. I was afraid to lose anything so I held it all as tight as I could. It was exhausting. I am ending the year with my hands symbolically open and palms facing upward in surrender. Through my "let it go" theme that rocked me to the core, I learned to release and let go and let God. For example, I held on tight to money and tried to control it. Our finances had a strict budget which was regularly kept in check, until health issues came up. My view was changed and I had to let go and trust there would be enough to get by. I learned that it would be okay, even when the balance in the account is just a fraction of the number I hoped to see. There was freedom in surrender.  My hope for 2016 is that my open hand would again be transformed in ways I can't imagine right now. My word is "connect" for the ...

At the end of each year, I spend time in reflection considering the events that occurred in the year. This usually brings up good and bad memories and lots of lessons learned (“growth opportunities” – ha!). For the past several years, I also write responses to a list of questions so that my personal history will be remembered. I treasure this information. This year, I really enjoyed writing about my best moment(s) of the year. I could sum it up in three words: let it go. Those three words were my theme for the year and helped me grow in ways I never could have imagined. I continually pictured this theme as having “open hands” as I learned to surrender . I let go of seven bags and two boxes of clothes, shoes, blankets, jackets, games, books and decorations after inspiration from a popular decluttering method. An extensive office remodel also helped with the decluttering and purging efforts at work! I let go of my “saving it for later” instinct and actually used e...