Nudge Challenge Week 98 = Listening

NUDGED: "Learn from the other side"

BACKSTORY: This is a difficult nudge! Our nation feels very divided right now. Everyone has their own opinions on issues, especially when it comes to religion and politics. I know how I stand on these topics too, so I don't listen to reasoning from the other side. But, I want to learn. 

This week, I will resist the urge to debate and prove my point. I will lean into my curiosity and really listen. What is their perspective? Why do they feel this way?

QUOTE: “Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK: I began the week by making myself a roadmap of the viewpoints I wanted to learn more about. I wrote down which side of issues I am on, then created a list of the opposites for me to learn about. It was clear what topics/people I would be looking for this week. 

When no conversations came up in my normal life (I don't like discussing those things anyway!), I went online to read opposing viewpoints. I looked up social media posts, news stories, and other message boards with very different opinions than my own. Unfortunately, the more I read, the more angrier I got. I didn't learn a lot!

I tried to engage a coworker on a recent news story that week, of which I knew he had a different perspective than me based on past comments. He was too angry about it and said he didn't want to get into it. I changed the subject then. It's probably for the best!

LESSONS LEARNED: It's hard to listen intently to someone give their opinion on something you disagree with, and not debate them. Sometimes even having the opportunity for an open and honest discussion is hard too. I learned that I am willing to listen and try to see a different perspective. It just didn't happen this week. 

In the future when a conversation happens organically, I want to gently probe by asking why they feel that way, instead of trying to change the subject. It may open my mind to see things in a new way. I have to wait for the right moment though!

NEXT UP: The nudge for week 99 (what?!) is to "Put together a gift basket for myself". I have seen a few people have a basket of fun things (coloring books, colored pencils, books, art supplies) that they can pull out when they have time. I really like this idea but have never created one for myself. I don't know what my final product will look like, but I am excited to ponder it and create a portable fun-zone for myself! 

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