Me & My Quite Contrary Life

I have been thinking about hands today. Strange, yes. :) The year 2015 started with my hands symbolically closed and clenched tight around the things I hold dear. I was afraid to lose anything so I held it all as tight as I could. It was exhausting. I am ending the year with my hands symbolically open and palms facing upward in surrender. Through my "let it go" theme that rocked me to the core, I learned to release and let go and let God. For example, I held on tight to money and tried to control it. Our finances had a strict budget which was regularly kept in check, until health issues came up. My view was changed and I had to let go and trust there would be enough to get by. I learned that it would be okay, even when the balance in the account is just a fraction of the number I hoped to see. There was freedom in surrender.  My hope for 2016 is that my open hand would again be transformed in ways I can't imagine right now. My word is "connect" for the new y

At the end of each year, I spend time in reflection considering the events that occurred in the year. This usually brings up good and bad memories and lots of lessons learned (“growth opportunities” – ha!). For the past several years, I also write responses to a list of questions so that my personal history will be remembered. I treasure this information. This year, I really enjoyed writing about my best moment(s) of the year. I could sum it up in three words: let it go. Those three words were my theme for the year and helped me grow in ways I never could have imagined. I continually pictured this theme as having “open hands” as I learned to surrender . I let go of seven bags and two boxes of clothes, shoes, blankets, jackets, games, books and decorations after inspiration from a popular decluttering method. An extensive office remodel also helped with the decluttering and purging efforts at work! I let go of my “saving it for later” instinct and actually used extra poss

I struggle to live in the moment. I was so concerned with how my closet would turn out using the KonMari Method that the process was filled with anxiousness rather than excitement (side point: it turned out great!). This phenomenon also occurs when I do my daily Bible study lessons. I work so hard to answer the daily questions that I completely forget the bigger picture. I am doing those questions to strengthen my relationship with God and learn more about Him, not to complete an assignment. It’s a journey, not a weekly destination. I find my brain is constantly moving forward and off to the next thing, mentally checking tasks off a list. Because I am in such a rush to move on, I miss out on what is happening now.   My focus is on completing tasks (the finish line!) that I overlook the journey to get there. This also means I don’t fully realize how much fun something was until after it is over. Fun is definitely not what I am experiencing at work right now during an office re