Nudge Challenge Week 93 = Old Journals
NUDGED: "Read though an old journal"
BACKSTORY: I process my life by writing about it. Oddly enough, after I write, I don't look back and re-read my journal entries. I prefer to look forward and don't want to get distracted by things that happened in the past. This nudge marks the first time I would intentionally re-read previous entries.
Why is it a challenge for me? I am afraid of re-living tough moments. I assume I will get tired of hearing myself babble on and on about meaningless things. I wonder how many "important" problems in my teens will seem trivial to me as an adult.
But, it is the nudge this week and I am determined to complete it.
Putting on my game face...
QUOTE: "If you do not make peace with your past, it will keep showing up in your present." - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK: I quickly learned that re-reading old journal entries and saved emails (many from 20+ years ago) can be good and bad. Journaling was beneficial to remember the details of the happy moments in my life, but it also recorded some painful moments of times I wanted to forget.
Some of the earliest journal entries I read were from my teenage years. Cliff Notes: a lot of venting about minor things (that seemed very important at the time!). So much drama! I laughed and rolled my eyes as I read. The moments of anger or sadness were preserved in writing for decades, long after my feelings vanished and "crises" were forgotten.
I read though my journal entries from high school and college, and came across old emails that I saved also (all on floppy disks!). It was painful to read the words sent by ex-boyfriends and ex-friends, especially now when I have the benefit of time. I see things differently with my adult perspective than what I experienced as a teen. It was hard to re-live some difficult moments, which I would have forgotten about if it wasn't written down. I wish I hadn't recorded some things.
I also read through journals from my college internship and earliest jobs. I was so young and inexperienced! Those made me laugh. It was easy to see how much I have grown and matured since then.
I read through my college memories and read my story of falling in love with my husband (2004!). It was so fun to hear the details again, including many things I had forgotten. I like reading love stories, so it was fun for me to read my own love story. It made me smile a lot and made my heart happy. I am so happy I saved these details. This was truly the highlight of the week.
LESSONS LEARNED: I learned some powerful lessons this week about the power of the written word. It can be helpful or hurtful.
In discussing this nudge with my husband, he reminded me that the law includes a statute of limitations on old crimes. I can't keep beating myself up over past mistakes, especially when I was so young and immature. My statute of limitations is up for remembering the bad things. It's time to move on.
I get to choose what I want to keep and remember. I saved my love story with my husband and other fun college memories. Those are precious to me. I deleted journal entries and emails from ex-boyfriends and any entries that feel painful to read over again. I don't want to remember those things. I wouldn't want to have my words (from a young, crazy me) preserved by someone else.
After I deleted what was not important to keep, I felt better. I am moving on.
NEXT UP: The new nudge is "learn to play Craps." This is a casino game that my husband plays often (when we are not in a pandemic!). I have watched it being played many times, but I still have no idea what is happening. I will be learning this week!
BACKSTORY: I process my life by writing about it. Oddly enough, after I write, I don't look back and re-read my journal entries. I prefer to look forward and don't want to get distracted by things that happened in the past. This nudge marks the first time I would intentionally re-read previous entries.
Why is it a challenge for me? I am afraid of re-living tough moments. I assume I will get tired of hearing myself babble on and on about meaningless things. I wonder how many "important" problems in my teens will seem trivial to me as an adult.
But, it is the nudge this week and I am determined to complete it.
Putting on my game face...
QUOTE: "If you do not make peace with your past, it will keep showing up in your present." - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK: I quickly learned that re-reading old journal entries and saved emails (many from 20+ years ago) can be good and bad. Journaling was beneficial to remember the details of the happy moments in my life, but it also recorded some painful moments of times I wanted to forget.
Some of the earliest journal entries I read were from my teenage years. Cliff Notes: a lot of venting about minor things (that seemed very important at the time!). So much drama! I laughed and rolled my eyes as I read. The moments of anger or sadness were preserved in writing for decades, long after my feelings vanished and "crises" were forgotten.
I read though my journal entries from high school and college, and came across old emails that I saved also (all on floppy disks!). It was painful to read the words sent by ex-boyfriends and ex-friends, especially now when I have the benefit of time. I see things differently with my adult perspective than what I experienced as a teen. It was hard to re-live some difficult moments, which I would have forgotten about if it wasn't written down. I wish I hadn't recorded some things.
I also read through journals from my college internship and earliest jobs. I was so young and inexperienced! Those made me laugh. It was easy to see how much I have grown and matured since then.
I read through my college memories and read my story of falling in love with my husband (2004!). It was so fun to hear the details again, including many things I had forgotten. I like reading love stories, so it was fun for me to read my own love story. It made me smile a lot and made my heart happy. I am so happy I saved these details. This was truly the highlight of the week.
LESSONS LEARNED: I learned some powerful lessons this week about the power of the written word. It can be helpful or hurtful.
In discussing this nudge with my husband, he reminded me that the law includes a statute of limitations on old crimes. I can't keep beating myself up over past mistakes, especially when I was so young and immature. My statute of limitations is up for remembering the bad things. It's time to move on.
I get to choose what I want to keep and remember. I saved my love story with my husband and other fun college memories. Those are precious to me. I deleted journal entries and emails from ex-boyfriends and any entries that feel painful to read over again. I don't want to remember those things. I wouldn't want to have my words (from a young, crazy me) preserved by someone else.
After I deleted what was not important to keep, I felt better. I am moving on.
NEXT UP: The new nudge is "learn to play Craps." This is a casino game that my husband plays often (when we are not in a pandemic!). I have watched it being played many times, but I still have no idea what is happening. I will be learning this week!
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