Nudge Challenge Week 90 = Speak Up
NUDGED: "Speak boldly and strategically"
BACKSTORY: I noticed I don't say "You're welcome" or "I love you" or "I'm sorry" often enough. I don't give my perspective when someone is proudly stating false information or making racist remarks. I find myself staying silent when I should speak up, out of fear or because I am uncomfortable. This makes for a great nudge then, as more than anything, this nudges project has taught me to take action and move out of my comfort zones.
I honestly feel like this may be one of the hardest and most personal nudges I have tackled in a long time. I am determined to do my best!
QUOTE:
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK: I don't like conflict or debates, but I also can't stay silent all the time and avoid tough issues. I don't want to live with the regret that I should have said something but I didn't. I also don't want to be walked over by others.
I have been wresting with the idea of speaking up all week. Sure, I did start saying "you're welcome" when people thanked me and "bless you" after someone sneezed, but I knew there was more I could offer.
Recently, I felt my character was attacked and I was not supported by someone I trusted. I have always fought with internal criticism and thus have been working on being more positive and loving, to myself and others. I am really sensitive when I receive criticism from external sources then. I realized this incident didn't make me angry but just reminded me that I want to surround myself with people who will support me and will not try to tear me down. I deserve love and respect, and will stand up for myself when I don't receive it.
I did not have the chance to have a conversation with this person this week, but I will soon (even though I dread it). It was important that I calmed down first to examine my true feelings. I will have the discussion when I am in a clear, calmer state of mind.
There were other tough conversations I wanted to have this week too, but the right opportunities didn't come up. I was not going to start a discussion at the wrong moment just to complete this nudge. There is a time to be silent and a time to speak. This week I was hyper-aware of the difference and decided to pick my battles (not just what but when!).
Honestly, while I didn't speak as boldly as I intended to this week, I did learn a lot through analyzing it. I also received some great advice from the two wise women in my Bible Study group (see below). I know the lessons of this week will continue to help me in the future. I will be prepared when the time comes.
LESSONS LEARNED: The two women in my Bible Study group offered some great advice for me to ponder in regards to speaking up more. I am so grateful for their wise counsel and support.
* In regards to what to call this nudge and what to pray for, they suggested - "to speak strategically and speak boldly". YES! They also prayed that I would not feel overwhelmed this week when trying to speak up, but encouraged.
* I was reminded to speak the truth in love, wrapped in grace. This is the way for Christians to have constructive discussions.
* Be prepared. Go into the conversation knowing what the other person might say and be prepared to give a response. For example, if someone continually makes the same racist/sexist remark, then prepare for it and know what I will say when it happens again.
* It doesn't have to be a long, drawn-out debate with someone I disagree with. Sometimes, it is more effective to make one comment and move on. It may make that person stop and think, and would give me the opportunity to build on it later.
NEXT UP: After a tough week, I am relieved to pull an easier, more fun nudge. For this upcoming week, it is "check out a small town". There are many small towns around my city, but I haven't gone to them for a long time, if ever. I get stuck in my city's bubble. This week, it's time to venture out! This may include a meal at a local restaurant there too or just driving around and checking out the sights (without getting lost - CHALLENGE!).
Have a good week!
BACKSTORY: I noticed I don't say "You're welcome" or "I love you" or "I'm sorry" often enough. I don't give my perspective when someone is proudly stating false information or making racist remarks. I find myself staying silent when I should speak up, out of fear or because I am uncomfortable. This makes for a great nudge then, as more than anything, this nudges project has taught me to take action and move out of my comfort zones.
I honestly feel like this may be one of the hardest and most personal nudges I have tackled in a long time. I am determined to do my best!
QUOTE:
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK: I don't like conflict or debates, but I also can't stay silent all the time and avoid tough issues. I don't want to live with the regret that I should have said something but I didn't. I also don't want to be walked over by others.
I have been wresting with the idea of speaking up all week. Sure, I did start saying "you're welcome" when people thanked me and "bless you" after someone sneezed, but I knew there was more I could offer.
Recently, I felt my character was attacked and I was not supported by someone I trusted. I have always fought with internal criticism and thus have been working on being more positive and loving, to myself and others. I am really sensitive when I receive criticism from external sources then. I realized this incident didn't make me angry but just reminded me that I want to surround myself with people who will support me and will not try to tear me down. I deserve love and respect, and will stand up for myself when I don't receive it.
I did not have the chance to have a conversation with this person this week, but I will soon (even though I dread it). It was important that I calmed down first to examine my true feelings. I will have the discussion when I am in a clear, calmer state of mind.
There were other tough conversations I wanted to have this week too, but the right opportunities didn't come up. I was not going to start a discussion at the wrong moment just to complete this nudge. There is a time to be silent and a time to speak. This week I was hyper-aware of the difference and decided to pick my battles (not just what but when!).
Honestly, while I didn't speak as boldly as I intended to this week, I did learn a lot through analyzing it. I also received some great advice from the two wise women in my Bible Study group (see below). I know the lessons of this week will continue to help me in the future. I will be prepared when the time comes.
LESSONS LEARNED: The two women in my Bible Study group offered some great advice for me to ponder in regards to speaking up more. I am so grateful for their wise counsel and support.
* In regards to what to call this nudge and what to pray for, they suggested - "to speak strategically and speak boldly". YES! They also prayed that I would not feel overwhelmed this week when trying to speak up, but encouraged.
* I was reminded to speak the truth in love, wrapped in grace. This is the way for Christians to have constructive discussions.
* Be prepared. Go into the conversation knowing what the other person might say and be prepared to give a response. For example, if someone continually makes the same racist/sexist remark, then prepare for it and know what I will say when it happens again.
* It doesn't have to be a long, drawn-out debate with someone I disagree with. Sometimes, it is more effective to make one comment and move on. It may make that person stop and think, and would give me the opportunity to build on it later.
NEXT UP: After a tough week, I am relieved to pull an easier, more fun nudge. For this upcoming week, it is "check out a small town". There are many small towns around my city, but I haven't gone to them for a long time, if ever. I get stuck in my city's bubble. This week, it's time to venture out! This may include a meal at a local restaurant there too or just driving around and checking out the sights (without getting lost - CHALLENGE!).
Have a good week!
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