Nudge Challenge Week 22: No complaints!
NUDGED: "No complaining for 5 days"
BACKSTORY: I read the book "A Complaint Free World" by Will Bowen and was really convicted by how much complaining negatively affects our world. Bowen states in the book,"We are obsessed with what is wrong. We complain about anything and everything, and as a result we keep focusing on our problems. Contrary to popular belief, complaining does not lead to solving our problems. Rather it concretizes our challenges and justifies our inaction in doing anything to make things better."
The book opened my eyes (and ears!) to how much negativity and complaining happens every day, especially statements that come out of my mouth. I worked on the author's challenge of having 21 consecutive days without complaining to live a happier life, but never made it more than a few days at a time (so hard!!). This nudge was yet another opportunity for me to try: no complaining for 5 days (Monday-Friday)!
QUOTE: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." - Maya Angelou
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK:
This was a tough week! I was very aware of my words and struggled not to voice complaints. I had the added challenge this week of flooding around town, including the basements of many people we care about. It's so easy to complain about wet carpet and lost possessions and time cleaning up water, so I made sure to hum so I wouldn't talk!
Bowen's book states that there is a difference between complaining and making statements of fact. "There is negative energy being expressed with a complaint... A statement of fact is a neutral comment intended to inform (not berate) the listener." I had a few moments this week when I expressed comments that may have come across as complaints but I intended as a statement. Was this a fail?
Did I complete this nudge then? I don't know! I definitely had less spoken complaints (and times I REALLY had a comment to make but didn't!). I think I did my best and learned valuable lessons along the way, so I would give myself some grace and consider it completed.
There was a lot of awareness for me this week. I noticed it more when others around me were complaining. People complained about the weather, world events, politics, and traffic most often - all things that we can't change! Awareness is the first step to change, so at least I am heading in the right direction.
LESSONS LEARNED:
1) It is important to watch my words and be intentional in what I say. This should happen always and not just for 5 days a year!
2) I don't have to say everything that pops in my head. Silence is better than complaining then regretting it later, especially when that complaining didn't do anything to solve the issue.
3) Instead of venting about something, I learned to keep it to myself and ponder it. In mentally processing and working through it, I felt just as satisfied as when venting to someone else....and many times I came up with a solution or decided to move on. Complaints were not necessary.
NEXT UP: Oh look, another challenging nudge! I have that thought many times after I pull a new nudge from my box, which is appropriate considering ALL of them have an element of challenge for me. This week, the nudge is "write my own story". With my journalism background, I have written many feature stories on other people, which I love doing. But, it is easy to hide behind the pen and paper and let my story go untold. This week, it's time to turn the paper and pen around (what?! does that make sense?!) and write about ME and my story. This will make me feel very vulnerable!
BACKSTORY: I read the book "A Complaint Free World" by Will Bowen and was really convicted by how much complaining negatively affects our world. Bowen states in the book,"We are obsessed with what is wrong. We complain about anything and everything, and as a result we keep focusing on our problems. Contrary to popular belief, complaining does not lead to solving our problems. Rather it concretizes our challenges and justifies our inaction in doing anything to make things better."
The book opened my eyes (and ears!) to how much negativity and complaining happens every day, especially statements that come out of my mouth. I worked on the author's challenge of having 21 consecutive days without complaining to live a happier life, but never made it more than a few days at a time (so hard!!). This nudge was yet another opportunity for me to try: no complaining for 5 days (Monday-Friday)!
QUOTE: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." - Maya Angelou
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK:
This was a tough week! I was very aware of my words and struggled not to voice complaints. I had the added challenge this week of flooding around town, including the basements of many people we care about. It's so easy to complain about wet carpet and lost possessions and time cleaning up water, so I made sure to hum so I wouldn't talk!
Bowen's book states that there is a difference between complaining and making statements of fact. "There is negative energy being expressed with a complaint... A statement of fact is a neutral comment intended to inform (not berate) the listener." I had a few moments this week when I expressed comments that may have come across as complaints but I intended as a statement. Was this a fail?
Did I complete this nudge then? I don't know! I definitely had less spoken complaints (and times I REALLY had a comment to make but didn't!). I think I did my best and learned valuable lessons along the way, so I would give myself some grace and consider it completed.
There was a lot of awareness for me this week. I noticed it more when others around me were complaining. People complained about the weather, world events, politics, and traffic most often - all things that we can't change! Awareness is the first step to change, so at least I am heading in the right direction.
LESSONS LEARNED:
1) It is important to watch my words and be intentional in what I say. This should happen always and not just for 5 days a year!
2) I don't have to say everything that pops in my head. Silence is better than complaining then regretting it later, especially when that complaining didn't do anything to solve the issue.
3) Instead of venting about something, I learned to keep it to myself and ponder it. In mentally processing and working through it, I felt just as satisfied as when venting to someone else....and many times I came up with a solution or decided to move on. Complaints were not necessary.
NEXT UP: Oh look, another challenging nudge! I have that thought many times after I pull a new nudge from my box, which is appropriate considering ALL of them have an element of challenge for me. This week, the nudge is "write my own story". With my journalism background, I have written many feature stories on other people, which I love doing. But, it is easy to hide behind the pen and paper and let my story go untold. This week, it's time to turn the paper and pen around (what?! does that make sense?!) and write about ME and my story. This will make me feel very vulnerable!
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